Which system to choose? What to focus on this choice and in general, who said that education must certainly have a system?
In the late 1970s, it happened to me at a meeting with the authors of the then popular family education system, in which much seemed very reasonable, but the system as a whole was alarming, and I could not catch what exactly. At the meeting, I understood: I lacked my souls-it was something like the charter of the educational service and promised too much, and the gathered numerous supporters were aggressive-unpleasant in relation to any doubt in it as the only true teaching. I saw something similar in connection with other systems-from the fashionable “by Dr. Spock” to God the news. Each of them has its exact observations, highlights and interesting finds. But all these, by themselves, remarkable things risk not working or turning into their opposite as soon as they become parts of the rigid system.
Young mother and father are pretty guys with a two -month -old baby and a severe conflict among themselves. She was preparing for motherhood, read a lot and found out that if I would cry paying a child, he “sits on the neck”. The husband’s attempts to take small in his arms when he cries, lead to scandals. While we are talking, crying is heard from the kite on the couch. Mother digs on her husband who moved to the baby. You can, I ask, hold the baby? He instantly calms down on his hands, and in the meantime I tell how and why it is vital for him, and I convey the dad with dad. Mother intercepts him and with obvious pleasure presses to herself: “I was sure that it was impossible”.
The system is always part of the culture. The Japanese, for example, do not know adult prohibitions. Here is a story from the Internet. On the bus, a baby sitting behind a woman with obvious pleasure will fierce dirty boots along her light coat. She asks her mother to somehow calm him down and hears in response to upbringing on the Japanese system. The young man moving to the exit takes out a chewing gum from his mouth, with the words “I was also brought up according to this system” he sculpts her mother on the forehead and comes out. Not the most polite, but convincing lesson for the mother. But the bus scene in Japan. The father reads the newspaper, the baby again and again demands sweets from the bag at the father in his hands, then breaks into the roar. Father gets up, goes with a package on a bus, treats passengers, returns with an empty bag, sits down and unfolds the newspaper. Neither indulgence, no word of prohibition, nor notes of condemnation. Great lesson for a boy. To educate in Japanese, you need to be a little Japanese and hope that others are not closed by education in four home walls-one way or another will support you.
Behind all systems are extremely good intentions, so why this, and not the other? Rational arguments explain this only partly, and it is easier to explain than to understand. To understand, you have to ask yourself: why should I, what is me – exactly to me – gives this system? The truth is that we choose the system primarily by ourselves. We console the pain of memory of our difficult childhood. we are sanctioned of the discharge of some emotions, and then-what. We increase our own self -esteem. We calm our fears. and t.D. and t.P. I am not to the fact that you need to uproot something of myself or break myself. But the awareness of this side of the choice, even if it is not always easy, helps to use our life experience more productively, and not twitch on the threads of our complexes. It makes us freer and sincere in communication with the child. And finally – it frees the child from the role of the hostage of our needs and problems. The choice of the system “by itself” has another important side. For example, education with a high betting on communication is to be among people, the soul of the company, etc.P. -It can turn out to be very difficult for a couple of quiet domestic and demand a https://purewaterhk.com/resenha-do-jogo-do-bicho-da-bgaming-a-experiencia-definitiva-de-apostas-online/ search for such a style that the child is good and not to tear himself away.